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Rules Of The Road, Indian Style

Rules Of The Road, Indian Style

Submitted by David Harp

 

Traveling on Indian Roads is an almost hallucinatory potion of sound,

spectacle and experience. It is frequently heart-rending, sometimes

hilarious, mostly exhilarating, always unforgettable — and, when you are

on the roads, extremely dangerous. Most Indian road users observe a

version of the Highway Code based on a Sanskrit text. These 12 rules of

the Indian road are published for the first time in English:

 


Emblem of India

Image via Wikipedia


ARTICLE I:

The assumption of immortality is required of all road users.

ARTICLE II:

Indian traffic, like Indian society,is structured on a strict caste

system. The following precedence must be accorded at all times. In

descending order, give way to:

Cows, elephants, heavy trucks, buses, official cars, camels, light trucks,

buffalo, jeeps, ox-carts, private cars, motorcycles, scooters,

auto-rickshaws, pigs, pedal rickshaws, goats, bicycles (goods-carrying),

handcarts, bicycles (passenger-carrying), dogs, pedestrians.

ARTICLE III:

All wheeled vehicles shall be driven in accordance with the maxim: to slow

is to falter, to brake is to fail, to stop is defeat. This is the Indian

drivers’ mantra.

more…

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Satire’s Gods

By Benners-Fox Vail

Satire is without question a misunderstood art. It employs Irony as it’s bulwark and requires a sense of humor. It is often mistaken as Sarcasm, although a close ‘cousin.’

Satire requires Knowledge, Erudition and boldness and is usually dismissed as “yellow” journalism by its targets. And yet without it, we are left with the mundane status quo media, offered for popular consumption and designed as a disingenuous panacea for an already satiated mob.

What the f%$k was that?!

Satire is Truth not denied but elevated to an Art.

______________________

Other than Voltaire, two of my favorite Satirists are Ambrose Bierce and the Duc de La Rochefoucauld.

Here are some my favorite quotes from these monsters of Satire:

From “Reflexions ou sentences et maximes Morales”-La Rochefoucauld.

“Pity is often feeling our own sufferings in those of others, a shrewd precaution against misfortunes that may befall us. We give hope to others so that they have to do the same to us on similar occasions, and these kindnesses we do them are, to put it plainly, gifts we bestow on ourselves in advance.”

“There are various forms of curiosity: one, based on self-interest, makes us want to learn what may be useful, another, based on pride, comes from a desire to know what others don’t.”

“Suspicion on our part justifies deceit in others.”

“Humility is often merely feigned submissiveness assumed in order to subject others, an artifice of pride which stoops to conquer, and although pride as a thousand ways of transforming itself it is never so well

disguised and able to take people in as when masquerading as humility.”

“In every walk of life each man puts on a personality and outward appearance so as to look what he wants to be thought: in fact you might say that society is entirely made up of assumed personalities.”

From “The Devils Dictionary”-Ambrose Bierce

Battle, n. The method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.

Alliance, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pocket that they cannot separately plunder a third.

Ambrose Bierce.  Portrait by J.H.E. Partington.
Image via Wikipedia

Diplomacy, n. The patriotic art of lying for one’s country.

Religon, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.

Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. The Idiot’s activity is not confined to any special field of thought or action, but “pervades and regulates the whole.” He has the last word in everything; his decision is unappealable. He sets the fashion of opinion and taste, dictates the limitations of speech and circumscribes conduct with a deadline.”

A little history here.

Bierce wrote his brand of cutting Satire around 1906. The first version of “Dictionary” was titled “The Cynics Wordbook.” This is a must read for Satirists.

La Rochefoucauld wrote the “Maxims” in 1665. It reads very much like “Dictionary.” I believe Bierce was a fan of La Rochefoucauld and ‘borrowed’ many of his definitions from the “Maxims.” In either case, these masterpieces of Satire should be read and enjoyed by anyone who identifies with the Inner Pragmatist!

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