“A Destructive, Subversive, Skeptical Analysis of the Notion of Extended Non-Logical Judgments by Talking Heads on the Inferred Personal Schemas Based on Limited Observation of Behavior Without the Inclusion of Causal Factors”
Or The Decriticalysis of Joe’s Linguasta
by Dewey Lovett-Ubet
“Have you ever noticed that anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster is a maniac?” –George Carlin
“Damnit, I’m in a hurry…gotta rush to judgment!”—Elmer Fudd
I will address in this article, the practice by some educators of expressing unqualified judgments regarding the internal nature of people based on opinions derived from poor reasoning, limited samples of behavior and an ignorance of the causes of behavior.
(Note: This predilection to engage in character judgment without foundation, maybe due to a condition in academia known as Gigantis Egoistis—(dji-GAN-tis E-go-IS-tis), in which an instructor has at sometime in the past, acquired a parasite that occupies the Hippo-Campus region of the brain. We will address this phenomenon later in the paper.)
I will begin my argument by recounting a claim I heard while I was dreaming in a philosophy lecture. I was dreaming that Berkeley’s disembodied brain was channeling my professor’s lecture, who, as it turns out, was also dreaming of Berkeley.
For Real…although it does sound like Idealistic hearsay!
Is this true, you ask? Of course it is true… How else could any of this have happened?
The Claim to be Decriticalized, (Destructively Critically Analyzed):
Straight from Berkeley’s Brain: “I can tell that you are an arrogant, self-centered, solipsistic jerk by your behavior. And even though I don’t know you, have never spoken to you, I also know that you are a so and so because other people have said as much. Plus, it is also rumored, that you are guilty of practicing a singularly solitary, subversive and destructive type of philosophy!”
The Brain continues...”And… since you are what you do, not what you think you do, and it’s what other people think you are doing that makes whatever you are doing, really what you are doing, then what you are doing is not what you think you are doing but what I think you are doing.”
…If I remember my lessons correctly, this mess of linguistic pasta is called “linguasta” and has been around since the early days of Philosophy in Athens…but, I digest…
As you can readily see, this linguasta is an absurdly bad interpretation of a part of Alice’s Adventures that runs: “Be what you would seem to be”–or if you’d like it put more simply–”Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.“
Now it is possible that our talking head Berkeley, who was channeling the talking head of my professor, who also in turn, could have been channeling Lewis Carroll during the lecture, meant to say what he was thinking but got confused by the feedback from Professor Joe’s own Qualia?
Makes perfect sense to me. So we’ll just call it all: “Joe’s Linguasta,” and leave it at that!
The Decriticalysis of Joe’s Linguasta:
more…
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