The ModernSquib

by Mike Ryan

I know there is a large chunk of the bewildered herd out there that think they know about that all time great fun-park ride called ‘Waterboarding.’ After all they’ve read about it somewhere or have heard some talking head on an un-biased cable news channel yapping about it…outraged…or not. Most of the descriptions of the practice are coming from observers…certainly none I’ve seen from the perspective of an actual “rider.” Until now!

I have experienced FIRST HAND what it’s like to be ‘waterboarded!’ So let me give you the exciting details on this all time fun-ride.

I had the “pleasure” of attending a school in 1974 ‘offered’ by the Navy called SERE/DWEST. The school is located at the Navy’s NAS North Island base on sunny San Diego’s Coronado Island. The SERE training camp proper is located at Warner Springs in the High Desert about 2 hours northeast of San Diego.

The North Island base is also the home to the SEAL’s BUD’s training which is arguably one of the most challenging courses in the world.

SERE/DWEST which stands for: Survival Evasion Resistance and Escape/Deep Water Environmental Survival Training, was designed to train the SEAL teams…and others… in the techniques of, well, survival, evasion, resistance and escape in the event of a not-good situation like being pursued and/or captured by the enemy. It was run by members of the Teams and when I attended, many former Korean and Viet Nam war POW’S with experience in the wonders of being pursued and captured by the enemy.

I won’t go into the entire ‘curricula’ of the school(s) here…my emphasis will be on the “Resistance” Phase of SERE.

During this”Resistance” Phase, all students are rounded up and placed in a mock POW compound and subjected to very real stresses as close to the real thing as the trainers could possibly make it. This included “Torture” which included our topic of conversation: “Waterboarding!”

OK…let’s look at what waterboarding really entails. Firstly, the subject is strapped or simply held down on a board that tilts about 20 degrees downward with his head at the lower end of the board. Then, an operator holds the subjects head down with a tee shirt or other cloth that covers the nose and mouth. Another operator pours water on the face of the subject which is covered with the cloth.

That’s basically it Kiddies…The cloth gets wet and stays wet so whenever you, the poor schmuck on the board, tries to take a breath, you get water. The water keeps coming…You keep trying to breathe. You feel like you are drowning! They stop to let you get a breath or two, ask you a question then begin again!

Sounds like fun huh!

I got my ‘ride on the board’ at about 3:00am on the 5th day of the evolution…exercise. They, the trainers, dragged me out of my little box and took me to the center of the compound where another ’student’ was experiencing the joys of the board. I immediately protested his treatment and volunteered to be taken in his stead…We’re trained to do that by the way. They relieved my comrade and with no small amount of force, slapped my ass down, strapped me onto the ‘ride’ and covered my face with a tee shirt. Next to the ‘board was a 50 gallon drum of water. While an operator help my head down with the tee shirt, another began pouring canteens of water on my face…Whooo Wheee Brother…the ride began!!!

A quick note: because this was “training” there was a Navy SEAL Corpsman present who had his fingers on my carotid artery constantly checking my pulse in case I was in danger of losing consciousness… whereupon he would see to my need and immediately ‘rouse me up…wouldn’t want to miss the fun!

So there it is Sports Fans…The real deal on “Waterboarding” from someone that’s actually been on the Ride!

So, is “Waterboarding” torture? Let me just say that my experience with it was not fun. As to whether it rises to the status of torture, that depends on your definition of ‘torture.’ Waterboarding is definitely worse than say a root canal but no where near as terrifying as being forced to watch Brigitte Nielsen and Flavor Flav make out on “The Surreal Life!”

Holder Tells Senators Waterboarding Is Torture

WASHINGTON — Pledging to run an independent Justice Department free of political taint, Eric H. Holder Jr. said on Thursday that he believes unequivocally that “waterboarding” is torture, and that it must not be practiced by the United States regardless of the circumstances.