Archive for » 2008 «

The World: America’s Playground

My Interview with an Intelligence Insider about America’s Crusade for World Rule

By Michael Ryan

It is 4:00am on a Thursday. As to what month it is, I am not allowed to say…the Intelligence Operator that I’m to meet with in one hour, made me promise not to tell.

Wait, I’m getting a call on my super secure NSA monitored cell phone…It is my contact…He is telling me he will have to reschedule our meeting because I’ve just told you that we are meeting in 1 hour.

Last month, which was July…oh crap, I shouldn’t have said that… I was granted an interview with a senior member of an elite Think Tank task force…or so he said. He had heard through the grapevine, (read NSA wiretaps), that I was working on an article about the realpolitik behind the current war in Iraq and wanted to insure that I got all the facts right. When he found out that I was going to reveal the plans of the Elite Power Brokers of America, (or the EPBoA) to control the world’s resources using the method’s of Hypnosis, Media Manipulation, and the force of the Military Industrial Complex, he was told by his handlers to contact me and set the record straight.

Eventually another time is set for our Interview and I am to meet this very influential Insider on…

Sometime Later.

It is now several weeks after the Interview…I am apparently in Budapest and I have a vague memory of being set free from a secret CIA base in Bulgaria… none the worse for wear; (a doctor is assuring me that the holes in my skull will heal, but the implants are going to be nearly impossible to remove). So under pain of severe migraine’s, I will relate to you the substance and facts of my Interview with an Intelligence Insider about America’s Quest for World Rule. more…

Technorati Tags: ,

  • Delicious
  • Digg
  • Facebook
  • MySpace
  • Technorati Favorites
  • Twitter
  • Share/Bookmark

My Mental Health

by Michael Ryan

I can’t sleep. I’m drinking a 6-pack of Heineken for breakfast. I can’t have sex with my therapist and she won’t even let me smoke cigars in the sessions. I’m discouraged about the progress of Social Enlightenment and went to bed early after learning that the Great Society is all but dead. I get anxious whenever George Bush’s face appears on the T.V.

It seems I can’t get a break. My friends in the Skull and Bones won’t answer my calls whenever I call to ask about why I was sent to the Chuck-E-Cheeze for my initiation. Never mind that I never attended Yale. And Mensa won’t renew my membership because I failed the Jeopardy auditions. I couldn’t even get on Wheel of Fortune because their try outs were just after breakfast!

I can’t even get a job in my chosen profession which is “Soulless Reprobate and Raconteur.” Seems the job market, according to the Labor Department, is already rife with Cads and Liars. There just aren’t any openings left in the Bush Administration.

I don’t have a sex life. Other than putting the moves on my anger management counselor, I haven’t been laid since the day after Jerry Garcia died. I got Mexican Viagra on-line and Xtasy from my local drug dealer, but the hookers won’t give me the time of day because my Visa is maxed. And there just doesn’t seem to be any good, quality porno available from Kazaa anymore. Also, I think a great ménage a trois would include Suze Orman and Judge Judy.

My social life is nill. It seems I can’t connect with people because I haven’t seen the final episode of “Friends” and don’t know the name of the latest pop tart. And when asked about the winner of “American Idol” or who survived “Survivors”, my mind goes blank and I am struck silent. When I tell people that I had read Cicero’s Letters last night, they ask me if it was true she really has a drug problem and plans a new album release in the fall.

But things are looking up. A long time friend told me the other day that I could overcome all my shortcomings, if I admitted my Animus is out of balance with my Dharma. But not to worry, she could hook me up with this Yogi from Pasadena who channels the Yogi from Chula Vista who knows this great anger management counselor from Santa Barbara. I said I might try that if the counselor lets me smoke cigars in the sessions!

Technorati Tags:

  • Delicious
  • Digg
  • Facebook
  • MySpace
  • Technorati Favorites
  • Twitter
  • Share/Bookmark